She sat in the dark reminiscing on what could have been the beginning of a fulfilling life. SAD, she thinks to herself, sad that she is in a relationship that not even her heart understands, more like a marriage of convenience. Her promise in the past after countless breakups was to love herself first, genuinely before she could let anyone ‘’control her emotions’’. But unfortunately it (her promise) did not come to pass as planned; she trusted and loved so easily. This ‘’relationship’’ is only to ‘’keep her mind at ease’’ she thinks! Well the only thing it is bringing in is chaos to her mind and heart and she keeps hoping that all will be well, that her love will be reciprocated, that she will one day hear those words, ‘’I LOVE YOU’’ from her better half. ‘’I am not so good at this relationship THING’’ she was told at the beginning of their courtship. She however understands that hope is vital, so she will stay optimistic to the end of time if that is what it takes to hear her ‘’love’’ utter those very heartwarming words to her. Greener pastures she searched for, but to no avail, none of them gave her the challenge that she has now found hard to live without. ‘’they are all too EASY,'' she thought. Where she gets the strength and patience to deal with this bond, she does not understand. Her motto; one day at a time and maybe just maybe, she will not lose what’s left of her sanity. But until then, her sanity reckons that she should find solace in darkness where no one sees her, deep into the night. Where she can think of no one else but HERSELF.
© Nana.
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